Lucky
by dapixam-q
Summary: Edward/Bella. Scenes from the life of our heroes, post-"Breaking Dawn."


Edward long ago gave up the hope of having children. He admitted this to Bella late at night, one of the first times he held her. From the way he said it, she knew he really had hoped for fatherhood. Bella imaged him as a human: seventeen, bright-eyed, no real experience with the injustice of the world, but a passion to join his father's practice and help others less fortunate. He was looking for a kind, funny girl to marry, to live in a house with a wrap-around porch on the Gold Coast, raise a boy and a girl, purebred collies. He would have gone to little league practice and ballet recitals. He would have been on time for dinner. He was poised to live the American dream when he was pulled into the lead of a gothic romance.

No matter their brightly lit, white, gingerbread cottage, Edward still had a wife who broke her pelvis and produced a geyser of blood while she was pregnant with a baby who would only be daddy's little girl for six years before he gave her away to the guy that used to be in love with her mother.

This was not the American dream.

"Maybe we should move to Canada," she said one night.

Edward just raised an eyebrow. Jacob looked stricken. She shrugged. "Overcast up there is all." It's not like there are affluent vampire suburbs in the grey north, either.

* * *

Edward was not so modest that he couldn't admit he was attractive. It was not just the successful practice that he had been groomed to inherit that garnered interest from the Chicago debutants of 1918. As with any vampire, the change enhanced his good features, did away with his bad, and he was now just about the most perfect someone with his musculature and bone structure could be. Really, though, he was nothing special in the scope of his kind. Even within his family, Jasper was much more striking, he had never seen another rival Emmett's smooth form, and Carlisle's kindness exuded from his microscopic pores.

After all the men she'd been with, Edward had no idea what made him so especially attractive to Tanya. (Bella rolled her eyes when he mentioned this to her which, although adorable, was no help.)

Eleazar and Carmen had been with her coven for a few decades when Carlisle took Esme and Edward to meet them in Alaska. Carlisle had saved his new bride only five months earlier. Still, Edward recognized the deep-rooted love between his parents, between Eleazar and Carmen. Even without hearing their sometimes sickeningly sweet thoughts about one another, devotion crackled in the air between the two couples. They moved in synch, like the ice skaters at the Olympics in Antwerp a few years earlier.

Although Tanya was stunning, more at ease with her body and mind than any other vampire he'd met, he felt nothing like that for her. Did she for him? Or did she just not recognize the intense connection between immortal mates? Carlisle thought Edward had always been sensitive to the thoughts of those around him; perhaps Tanya was insensitive. Or perhaps she was just desperate for a romantic connection after a thousand years with her sisters.

She was persistent. He almost gave into her a few times, especially the last time his family lived in Denali. After almost a hundred years, what was out there for him? What was he waiting for? It took less than a year for Rosalie to find Emmett. Alice's first memory was of Jasper. Perhaps Esme was right and there was something wrong with him. —In that case, why not settle for Tanya? Perhaps he couldn't recognize that kind of love in his own thoughts.

Standing across from Bella, in the middle of a wedding from a Victorian dream, Edward knew what he had been waiting for. He knew why he couldn't understand it before because he couldn't understand it now. It was like being complete, but it was better than that. It was like being happy, but it was _so _much better than that. He knew she felt happy and complete, too. That was a big part of it. He didn't have to understand it: it simply _was._

And then they created Renesme. If the euphoria of the act itself wasn't enough proof, their little child confirmed that every action of his long life was leading to this. Even the pain of a century without Bella, a year of sharing her with Jacob was meant to be, just so Nessie could come and fill up every little space in the world.

* * *

Sitting on a shelf in the pain house was a pale pink book with gold lettering, _My First Five Years_. Inside, Alice and Rosalie created a false life, as seamless and perfect as anything J. Jenks could give them. Every birthday party was imagined, with a sample of invitations they never posted, Nessie in five different cardboard cone hates, Nessie holding plates of cake she couldn't stand eating, Nessie surrounded by shiny wrapped presents. There are no unwrapped presents because the stuff inside is inappropriately advanced for this day in the life of two-year-old, three, four, five-year-old.

Bella hated this book. It was designed to show to others – people outside their family and who outside their family might want to see it? Everyone important to Nessie knew how quickly she grew, remembered the night she was born and counted every day after. Centuries from now, when they all look and feel exactly as they do now, would it better to turn the pages of Nessie's normal human childhood? Would Bella try to replace her crystal clear memories of what really happened, every joyous moment, with this?

Of course not. She only hoped that was true for everyone else.

As far as she could tell, Edward had never picked up the baby album.

* * *

He hadn't. Edward didn't like it either. Although Nessie is the most ideal creature possible, she brought with her a spotlight on how fucked up everyone in his family really was. Yet, he couldn't possibly think of them better another way.

When Bella eventually explored her closet, she found Alice put her old clothes in with the new. She was surprised Alice hadn't burned them. Her three pairs of shoes were hanging with the hundreds of others, organized according to the rainbow. The enormous jewelry armoire had delicate pendants, rings, and bracelets, fat, glittering diamonds and every other imaginable gem, next to serviceable earrings and the few small silver pieces given to her at Christmastime. Behind a line of tennis bracelets, she discovered a multicolored bag. It took her a moment to remember why it was familiar. Inside sat the charm bracelet, the wolf and the heart. To her new eyes, the heart was so clearly a diamond that she couldn't imagine not always being sure of it.

When had she taken it off? Looking back through her fuzzy human memories, it was probably before the wedding, when she was exhausted and Alice used her like a Barbie doll; Bella laid the bracelet across her wrist, held one end with her pink and worked the clasp with her thumb. Before she secured it, though, she realized it wasn't right to wear this bracelet any longer. Still, it seemed wrong to keep it locked away, no matter the beauty of the mahogany drawer. She laid it on top of the dresser, the bag puffed up as a little cushion, and then went to find something suitably ridiculous to satisfy Alice's taste for fashion.

* * *

It was almost impossible to get Nessie out of Rosalie's arms the first few hours after she was born, but Edward finally managed it. Thank god Jacob passed out, exhausted, or it might have taken days to get his daughter to himself.

Already strikingly advanced, Nessie had been moving all her newly freed limbs and asking everyone she noticed where Bella was from the moment she first breathed on her own. But the moment Edward held her, she settled down, met his gaze, touched his face, showed him her thoughts twice, _you are my father, I love you._ Then she closed her eyes and nuzzled her fuzzy, delicate head into the curve of his elbow. Rose glared at him the whole night, but Edward wouldn't let Nessie out of his arms while she slept

Mother and child both slept that night and he would protect the only one he could.

* * *

"She'd be good in the army," Jasper said. Edward and Jacob were not amused and both made a grab for Nessie. Edward got there first, but Jacob didn't move away, just tucked his hands between Nessie's back and Edward's chest.

Bella was amused and asked Jasper why. Alice answered, "He doesn't have a reason. It's just because he likes her. Apparently we'd all be good in the army."

"You would," Jasper said, not at all defensively. "You were a good army." Edward laughed, now, the fight won and behind them.

* * *

Of course he had gotten used to only knowing what she told him. She was an unfailingly honest person and he comforted himself that he knew most of it anyway, more than most anyway, because mindreading regardless, he was still _sensitive_. Was it enough? It had to be. It was a small price to pay for everything else Bella gave him.

Still, it was like a warm breeze from heaven when she first opened her mind to him. Thankfully he was constantly prepared, waiting for a thought to slip through her shield, or he might not have heard her.

He almost didn't recognize himself from her eyes. No, Tanya's affection for him was nothing compared to this. He was stunning, close to as beautiful as Bella was to him. (The first time he saw Bella in his mind through Aro's mind, compared to Bella in Aro's mind directly, was shocking: how could someone so ancient, so powerful, be so blind?) Her memories of the island were spectacular – not as clear as his, but so powerful, like how a child sees a sunset, with no knowledge of how or why it happens, just pure, innocent appreciation.

After that first flush of memories, she would surprise him with more, when they were far enough away from each other that he couldn't interrupt her. His body went to hers anyway, without conscious thought sometimes. He had no idea how she could conclude opening her mind to him because she had never gotten that far.

One night, he was reading in bed and waiting for her when she sped on top of him. _Children of the Mind_ went flying across the room as Bella moved his arms above his head. She distracted him with kisses and before he noticed what she was doing, she had him captive, unable to move his hips more than up and down, thrusting helplessly, moving his arms nothing but a useless strain.

She carefully clasped his fingers around the iron bars of the headboard and lifted away from him for long enough to whisper, "Hold on." He clenched his hands in affirmation. "Or else."

His muscles strained in anticipation. Bella proceeded to worship his body. If someone told him he could orgasm without Bella touching his erection, he would have laughed. Not in a million years. In fact, it felt like a million years of throbbing torture, but it was entirely possible. His nipples were more sensitive than he ever would have imagined.

At the end of it, the headboard was in two pieces, but he was still hanging on.

"That's all?" Bella said, surveying the bed. Edward was flabbergasted. Had he not performed to par? Bella lay next to him and curled onto her side.

"What's wrong?" He moved his body up against hers, hoping this wouldn't make whatever it was worse.

Bella shook her head, but turned around to face him and pressed her head into his neck. "It's too embarrassing. I can't tell you."

That was _silly_, but Edward said, "Then show me."

She pressed against him deliciously. Edward groaned. Somehow, there was no price to pay for this life. Bella had given him it all.

* * *

Emmett's words stuck with her for a long time after –_Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?_ Fifteen, Edward confirmed, literally crumbled to the ground, Emmett and Rosalie crawling out of the rubble when they were finished. Bella tried teasing him that they'd gone vanilla in their old age, but that only inspired them to destroy the upstairs shower. Esme clucked her tongue and said, "Just like newlyweds. Make me remodel again."

"You love it," Carlisle said and then _he_ gave _her_ a completely lascivious look and they went out into the _woods_.

And Bella couldn't even make Edward break down a bed. One ruined headboard was not the same thing.

"You think we're not passionate enough?" Edward said when she threw her worries at him. He breathed a laugh and she shrugged, not meeting his gaze. "First of all, Bella, this was a terrible experiment because I couldn't _move_."

"I thought it might excite you to be dominated," she muttered.

He coughed. "And second of all, we have a few more responsibilities than even Carlisle and Esme do. I would have been quite a bit more vocal if there wasn't a sleeping baby in the next room."

She sighed and nodded, mostly placated.

The next few days, Edward took Nessie for long outings into town. Bella didn't think anything strange of it and didn't make any connection when Edward announced they were taking a little vacation to South Carolina. It seemed an unusual spot, but she was excited to be in the South when the humidity and bugs wouldn't affect her at all.

From the airport, they drove a rental car down a long cedar-lined path to a mansion, white columns and black shutters. It wasn't in pristine condition, but it was beautiful and romantic in a Lestat kind of way.

"What is this?" she said, but Edward just shook his head and led her through the grand double doors. In the vestibule, there was an enormous bed. Through the doors on either side, she saw two more beds. The grand staircase was covered in lush carpet. "Edward," she said, "is this a bordello?"

He laughed. "That is inaccurate. This is our first house to destroy."

With a somewhat warlike shriek, she jumped on Edward, slamming him against the bed and forcing the frame to the floor. The house's old wood foundation gave a satisfying creak.

* * *

"Alice, that is ridiculous. Diamonds that big make her look like a child prostitute."

"Esme!" Rosalie hissed, covering Nessie's ears with her hands.

_I can still hear_, she thought at Edward, rolling her eyes. _And even a prostitute wouldn't wear a necklace this heavy._ Esme blushed and Edward snorted at his daughter's irreverence.

"A pimp couldn't afford it either," he agreed. Alice and Esme glared at him, Rosalie kicked him in the shin, but Nessie and Bella both giggled.

"Maybe you could find some jewelry a little more child-appropriate," Jasper said and rubbed Alice's back.

"Oh!" Bella said and ran out the back door to the cottage. A few moments later, she reappeared, a little gleam of silver between her fingers. She sat on the couch next to Nessie in Rosalie's lap and spread Jacob's charm bracelet between her hands.

"The little wolf," Bella said and Nessie touched it with one little finger, "is from your Jacob. The heart is from your daddy."

Edward crouched down between them. "It's from your momma too, Ness. Any heart of mine is hers."

_But it's mine, too_, Nessie thought and displayed her arm to them. Bella leaned her head into the crook of Edward's neck, smiled, and wrapped the silver link chain around Nessie's wrist twice and clipped it in place. The diamond heart and the wolf ended up overlapping and, from the way Nessie squeezed them together in her fist and sighed, that's exactly the way she wanted it.

"That's a giant diamond, too," Alice pouted and everyone shushed her.

He wouldn't admit it later, but Jacob cried when he saw it.

* * *

When Nessie couldn't sleep, Emmett and Edward liked to take her to the park and try extreme sports on the jungle gym. Rosalie couldn't stand going with them, couldn't see Nessie as anything but breakable, but Bella loved to watch them play.

On the swings, Emmett would push her higher and higher, until the swing looped around the bar. Nessie jumped before it looped too short, into Edward's arms.

"Daddy!" she shrieked, sometimes the only thing she said out loud all day.

He twirled around with her, the closest thing to a ballet recital Nessie's going to get, kisses her hand. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of her scent. It made Bella close her eyes too, remembering – she loved that scent, something close to Edward's with clean, warm baby smell underneath. When will Nessie lose that smell? Maybe Bella and Edward will be able to find it on her forever.

While Emmett raced her on the monkey bars, the first time he let someone win in his life, Edward walked to Bell and sat next to her on the chipping green bench. She squeezed her mind open for a few seconds, to let him knew she thought he was the best possible father and every hot emotion related to the concept.

"I'm the luckiest person in the world," he said close to her ear and nipped her neck.

She shivered. "We all are."

* * *

Epilogue: Crack

_On Isle Esme_

Basking in the afterglow, Bella and Edward laid together on their trashed bed.

"Being with me, are you going to miss being a mother?" Edward asked, stroking her hair.

"You mean you can't make me pregnant?"

"No! That's crazy. All my bodily fluids were replaced by venom. Maybe venom can make people vampires unless it gets in their uterus and then it makes them pregnant? That's stupid."

"You're right. If our lives were a book, the author would have to basically not explain it to make that work."

"Let's hope she wouldn't make it a big part of the book, or it would feel really awkward. And she might have to get into some very creepy abortion, wife-sharing business."

"And maybe the heroine would vomit a fountain of blood. Never wanted to read that! Or see that in the inevitable movie. Anyway, I've never been very maternal and I really doubt I'll feel bad not being a mother. Maybe we can make little vampire babies."

"NO THAT'S SO BAD."

"Really? You've never brought that up at all."

"I know, that's bad planning. Unlike Renée and Esme, and Carlisle and Charlie having such similar names. That was GREAT planning."

"What?"

"Actually, immortal children really screwed up Tanya and her sisters."

"Really? You never mentioned that either. But I guess I've always known it was a big deal."

"Bella, I don't know. Maybe there are no more interesting things for us to do if we don't have a baby."

"Whoa, yeah. Children-less lives are so unfulfilling."

The crickets were loud through the empty window. The mood could have been fixed with more lovemaking, but alas, Edward was too guilty.

* * *

A/N: My spell check's first correction option for Renesme is "rename." Ha. Huge thanks to Amelie, supportive beta of all time.


End file.
